You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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