your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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