You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
