how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
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