okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
