Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
