Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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