so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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