Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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