i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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