It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
