Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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