Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We have started to decorate penises.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
