Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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