You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Holy sore nipples Batman
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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