I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
