But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
