we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
