My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
