Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
