She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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