I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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