Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I love you. Go after that dick
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
