when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Randomize
