I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
