If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
