honey bunches of taint.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
