You're my little dorito
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
