If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
