I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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