Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
