p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
