Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
