Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I love having hate sex.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
