So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
