does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
