I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Randomize
