I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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