Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
