In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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