If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
