He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
