I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
