he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
