return my video game
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
