Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
