you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
