I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
