Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
