Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
worst night to have a conscience
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
