Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
