Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
